Wow. I go back to school tomorrow. Three weeks ago, I would have been so thrilled. Right now? I honestly could probably use a few more weeks at home. It’s kind of weird, I’m starting to feel all the same fears I felt right before I went to college. This is when I stop and remember how God good is, take a deep breath, and finish my packing 🙂
This break has been really great, though! I’ve had the adventure of a lifetime snowboarding in the Alps in Switzerland for two weeks. I’ve hung out with friends and seen how we’ve pretty much all either grown closer or farther apart. I’ve discovered a couple of passions and rekindled an old interest. I’ve organized myself a bit, got some new clothing and accessories, and have really thought a bit about life and upcoming summer plans. But really if I had to sum it all up, one thing that God has really shown me is that I am so selfish. I compare myself to too many people, materially, financially, academically, intellectually, and in just about any other way possible. I get jealous so easily. I am always wanting more, whether it’s to do more or be more, I’m never content with myself. In my friendships, I let myself get hurt because sometimes I lose focus and forget that friendships are about what I’M giving, not receiving. I’m excited to see what God has planned to help me grow through this in the future.
Speaking of the future, I’m working on job applications. And I’m kinda scared. I wasn’t worried about it until I started thinking about it a whole lot, then stressing over it, and now I’m starting to worry. Just need to chill and trust God. He really knows what is best. He will have me working wherever is best. He already knows where that is, He knows how I will get that job, and He will help me through that job, whether I am excited about it at first or not.
So all that being said, I’m excited to see what God has for me this next semester. Work, school, ambassador, job applications, SGA, and everything else. Trying not to be nervous, but just trust. Excited to see my friends again really soon!